| Monday, August 23rd, 2010 | Comments Off | Tweet |
Are you taking USC questions?
-Brennan, Santa Clarita, CA
-Brennan, Santa Clarita, CA
Yeah we are. They’re paying us under the table to do it.
Which Pac-10 school has the best looking cheerleaders? I need to decide where to apply.
-Ryan, Flagstaff, AZ
No effing clue. From what we can tell, they all look like Emmanuelle Chriqui. Does Ryan have a shot with any of them is the real question.
Can you imagine, knowing what you know now, being given the gift of time travel and going through the college application process again? No one (who reads this site anyway) would apply anywhere besides SEC and Pac-10 schools.
Rumor is that Arizona State is just absolutely saturated with the most beautiful women in the world. They’re all tan, not that smart, and they outnumber the men. They have everything you could want in a girl, and so much of it. Worst case scenario, you’re close to Vegas.
I ordered the College Football package so I can form my own opinion on the best quarterback in next year’s draft. I’m sick of being a Bills fan from the sideline. I’m submitting my research to Buddy Nix – any chance I don’t end up with Jake Locker #1?
-Dan, Buffalo, NY
A little East Coast flavor (flavaaa) sneaking into the Pac-10 mailbag!
It sucks that you’ve already admitted to yourself that your favorite team will have the #1 pick in the draft, but it’s hard to argue against it. But good job spinning it positively. Let’s be honest – Buddy Nix needs all the help he can get. The only thing is, you might have to actually mail him a letter, because there’s a 71% chance he has no idea what e-mail is.
BB likes, but doesn’t loves Locker. (It’s that summer fling with that girl from Westchester all over again.)
But we do love Andrew Luck. 6’4, 230, went to Stanford – no we’re not describing Trent Edwards, and obviously that hasn’t worked out in Buffalo – but if there’s one thing the Bills need, it’s Luck. He was highly touted coming out of high school, and anyone that spends time with Jim Harbaugh seems to be a better person for it.
Luck over Locker over Barkley. Variable: How the hell could anyone in the world move from Stanford, CA to Orchard Park, NY?
Who’s the best player in the Pac-10 that people don’t know about?
-Nick, Tucson, AZ (hinting)
Even though his name should be that of a socialite at a Great Gatsby cocktail party, we’re going with the fastest thing the Arizona desert has seen since the Road Runner – Nic Grigsby, RB, Arizona.
Grigsby isn’t the workhorse type and has struggled with injuries. If he learns to catch the ball more consistently out of the backfield, he could be a huge factor at the next level. So what should we expect from him this year?
Well, maybe another 94 yard run, and maybe another throat stomping of the Stanford Cardinal? We don’t really know, but Grigsby has his Arizona team in position to be a dark horse of the most dangerous kind.
Top 5 names in the Pac-10.
-Will, Charlotte, NC
5. Juron Criner, WR, Arizona
4. Bryson Littlejohn, LB, Oregon
3. Rueben Robinson, LB, Oregon State – This name is only great if you pronounce it like Hank Azaria in ‘Along Came Polly'. “Woo-Bon”
2. Vontaze Burflict, LB, Arizona State
1. Quinton Richardson, CB, Washington – wait a second…
Can you somehow spin this into a mailbag question – top 5 hottest girls that you can Google at work without getting fired?
-Joe D., Fresno, CA
The Criteria: Girl must be sexy, but no nudes, and probably no drug affiliations. Are we missing anything? Oh and she must know that the Pac-10 exists.
Top 5 Girls to Google at Work Without Getting Fired:
5. Hilary Duff – Insanely sexy, nothing close to nudes. Excuse: “My daughter loves Lizzie McGuire.”
4. Sasha Gray (kidding) - Stop!!!!
4. Emma Watson – The further along through Hogwarts she gets, the more acceptable this becomes.
Excuse: My son can’t wait to see the new Harry Potter movie.
3. Sandra Bullock – Everyone said she’s back, but she never effin left. She’s been like 14 different kinds of hot, ending with, ‘there’s literally no way she’s a mother of 2 and has a kind heart hot.’
Excuse: I just read that Michael Lewis book, I guess they made a movie or something.
2. Kristen Stewart – You either love her or you don’t. If you don’t, you’re definitely not a vampire. (Come on?? Like you haven’t seen Twilight?!)
Excuse: “Oh this isn’t Kristen Stewart from the accounting department!”
1.Christine Taylor – ( Not Christy!!!!) Ben Stiller is a lucky man.
Excuse for a male boss: (Insert Zoolander quote.)
Excuse for a female boss: “My wife said she wants something from the Christine Taylor Loft? Do you know what that is?”
