You need to understand, there's nothing strange about this, you need to know your teams
1. Kansas – Rock Chalk is pretty damn nasty. They played on Big Monday 947 times. Xavier Henry is starting to look like the lottery pick that he is and that's bad news for the rest of the tournament.
2. Duke – The Devils are Pomeroy's most efficient offense and America's most hated team. This isn't a Duke team that will bow out early, that is unless they do, in which case, we told you they would.
3. Syracuse – The 2-3 zone works in the tournament because tired point guards and overwhelmed coaches. Syracuse's size, balance, and Dandy Rautins make them one of the best teams in the country – their short bench, turnovers, and point guards make them beatable.
4. Ohio State – Evan Turner led the Big 10 in rebounding and points and was 2nd in assists. He was used on 35% of their possessions. They play a mid-sized match-up nightmare line-up that works, because Buford, Lighty, and Diebler are all threats from deep. Their weakness is lack of depth; they literally play 6 guys – foul trouble is just not an option.
5. Wisconsin – They turn the ball over less than anyone in the tournament and they might play the best defense. What might surprise you is they rank #12 on Pomeroy's adjusted offensive efficiency category. They also have fewer black guys than the NHL.
6. Kentucky – Kentucky is #1 in our list of teams that: A) you don't want near your little sister, B) you don't want to run into in an alley, C) could have a mental implosion on national TV.
7. West Virginia - They're arguably the most talented team in the country. Even if Bob Huggins is drunk (which is entirely possible) this team should walk comfortably into the Sweet 16. They will definitely out rebound everyone they play but will Jones/Ebanks do enough to help Butler?
8. Kansas State – The Thundercats get to the line 31 times a game, more than any other school. They're a nightmare match-up for anyone with a short bench. (See: Kentucky, Syracuse, Ohio State)
9. Georgetown – 50% of the time they can beat anyone, 50% of the time they can lose to anyone. That falls on the coaching staff.
10. Maryland – We think you just haven't seen them play enough. They are really good, but Vazquez's annoying demeanor might make you want to throw your plasma out a 6 story window.
11. Villanova – No one is sure which Nova team we'll be seeing in March. Scottie Reynolds is Mr. Big shot but Corey Fisher is the key to getting to Indianapolis. (That sounded so ESPN of us)
12. BYU – These guys are better than the general public thinks. They can score with anyone, are amazingly efficient, and have multiple wives.
13. Baylor – They have 3 different scorers, and they swat the shit out of the ball. Guess who has a higher (Ken Pom) block percentage, Syracuse, UConn, Kentucky, or Baylor? You got it, don't bring that weak shit to Waco. No, seriously…don't.
14. California – Why do they have to play every game at 10 PM? We feel like we fall asleep next to Jerome Randle every night.
15. Florida State – 9 players who get more than 10 minutes a game? Chill. out. Pick somebody. They always have fresh bodies defensively, and it shows.
16. Texas A&M – Donald Sloan is just fun to watch, it's getting awkward how much we like this kid. His girlfriend asked us to stop calling the house and hanging up, but if Donald Sloan has taught us anything it's to never give up.
17. Pittsburgh – A loss to ND is the only blemish on a very impressive February run. Ashton Gibbs sounds like he should be a main character on The Hills, not Pitt's leading scorer.
18. Clemson – Is the ACC overrated or underrated? Teams like Clemson will help us figure that out.
19. Marquette – Buzz and the boys are 2006 Villanova-type frustrating to match-up against. But can they go inside when the shots aren't falling?
20. Purdue – It's on E'Twaun and the seniors and all of a sudden everyone's betting against them. The Boilermakers will be playing the 'nobody believes in us' card but it won't replace the "Give it to Hummel" card.
21. Xavier - Crawford might be the best player in the conference, and Xavier might be the best team. They're playing their best ball of the year when it matters most. We might be making generic statements.
22. Temple - It appears that getting punched in the forehead by Richmond woke these guys up.
23. Texas – They haven't won a game in 6 months, they're entire backcourt is rehabbing a knee injury, and 3 of their Top 5 are freshmen. Where did it all go wrong?
24. Butler - Never underestimate what a group of white guys can do. Just look at the Senate.
25. Louisville – Outside of the Syracuse wins, they have a surprisingly shaky resume. But they have the talent to make a run.
26. Tennessee – If they lose, everyone is getting high. Wait, that happens if they win too. Boom, roasted.
27. Michigan State - Tough D, strong on the board, scrappy backcourt. Typical Sparty in March.
28. Old Dominion - The CAA semi-finals showed they had guts, the finals showed they could be dominant. By the way, they beat Georgetown.
29. Vanderbilt - To be honest, they just aren't that fun to watch. But then again, is there anything fun about going to Vanderbilt?
30. Missouri – They play more guys than my ex-girlfriend, but who's their alpha dog? You need an alpha dog. The Tigers turn the ball over 27% of the time, more than any other BCS school. (Thanks Pomeroy!!)
31. New Mexico -Steve Alford is obsessed with his team being young and Andy Katz is obsessed with New Mexico. They don't have huge wins, but they haven't lost since the beginning of January. We think they're paper Lobos.
32. UTEP – Tony Barbee hasn't lost since mid-January. If they end up playing Louisville, Rick Pitino may not make it out of the building without a Derrick Caracter stab wound to show for his efforts.
33. Northern Iowa – MVC Champs getting no respect? Yeah, sorry. None.
34. Georgia Tech – Favors and Lawal eat mid-majors like you for breakfast.
35. UNLV – We discount the Louisville win because it's not really fair if your head coach is up till 4:30 staring at stripper snatch at some Las Vegas titty bar.
36. Wake Forest - We're not exactly sure how to pronounce Al-Farouq Aminu, but we think it sounds something like "Overrated."
37. Oklahoma State – By the time you finish the Compendium, you'll be a Tigger fan too.
38. Cornell – 7 Seniors and a 6'7 scoring machine? That's enough to make us ignore the Ivy part.
39. Richmond – Elitist southern school with a high scoring undersized guard? It's the new Davidson!