Field goals are the most pathetic scoring in all of sports. Field goals allow scrawny, worthless kids to dream of making it to the league and they allow scrawny, worthless men to be gainfully employed by the league. Thank God we can bet on them.

Will either team make a field goal in the first quarter?
Yes +105
No -135

Here’s the scenario: it’s 4th and short in a 0-0 game and the announcers are debating whether the offense should go for it. The guy you can’t stand at the party is screaming “GO FORRRRR IT!” as Doritos fly out of his mouth. Meanwhile, you sip your beer and fight back a smile. You know the coaches will be conservative, afraid to fail on the world’s biggest stage. The coaches tell themselves that it’s important to get points on the board early, and they call out the kicking team. It’s 3-0 in the first quarter and you’ve already won your first bet.

Team to miss the first field goal:
NO: -105
IND: -125

If you get the Saints at even odds here, take them. Garrett Hartley is unreliable and inexperienced, while the Colts won’t force Matt Stover to kick anything but short, easy field goals. Plus, it will be funny to win money while Sean Payton is bent over on the sideline looking like he just got kneed in the junk.

Shortest field goal of the game:
Over 25.5 (-110)
Under 25.5 (-110)

2 of the 11 field goals Stover attempted this year were under 30 yards. For Hartley, it was 4 of his 11. Over is the right side of this bet, but don’t blame us when Hartley puts through an 18 yarder in the 4th quarter and you’re strangling some random neighbor.