Sunday NFL Record: 1-1

This Week's Bowl Record: 2-1
This Year's Bowl Record: 2-1 (67%)

Rutgers aka the Situation -2.5 (WIN)

Just as we predicted, Rutgers came to St Petersburg prepared to dominate their bowl game. Greg Schiano has moved into "he's a pretty good regular season coach but holy shit I can't wait to bet on him in his otherwise boring bowl game" territory and the Big East has made an early bowl season statement. While watching this annihilation, our minds couldn't help but wander. With the mind blowing success of MTV's Jersey Shore and the critical success of the the television version of Friday Night Lights, we thought, BB's next venture may be in television production.

Picture this – Jersey Ball. Joe Martinek, the "Joy-zee" boy running back who can run over a safety without messing up his blowout haircut. Mohamed Sanu, the thoughtful, stoic leader who stands out in a crowd of guidos. All he does is throw/run/catch/return touchdowns. Tom Savage, the freshman Prima donna who gets into awkwardly intense confrontations with his father and always falls for the girl who wears skirts made of whipped cream.

Finally, kicker San San Te, the 5'9 Asian who serves as the greatest Asian punchline since Arrested Development's Annyong. Who here wouldn't DVR Jersey Ball? Get Ari Gold on the line, stat!

Fresno State Bulldogs -10.5 (Loss) If you watched this game, you know that Fresno State was a far superior team to Wyoming. Even with 10.5 points, we were going into this game with pocket Kings against a King/9. But, a red zone fumble here, a Ryan Matthews injury there, yet another fucking 4th down conversion here, yet another fucking fumble there, and all of a sudden, in the immortal words of Michael Ray Richardson, the ship be sinking. Those Wyoming bastards just caught runner runner to hit their inside straight draw and we're photoshopping pictures of Fresno coach Pat Hill onto Guantanamo Bay prison photos. It wasn't the way we wanted to start the bowl season and we seriously considered headbutting the flat screen and ending our bowl misery there, until… 

Middle Tennessee State +4 (Win)  Until Dwight Dasher showed up. Holy. Shit. You owe us this month's salary just for talking you into betting on this kid. You had never even heard of Dasher before this week, but when we told you he was a freak that played like some kid's create a player in NCAA 10, you listened to us. Then he comes out and puts up video game numbers. (We're pretty sure we created a QB named Flight Flasher in NCAA 2005, and even with 99 speed, he didn't put up these numbers.) Dasher accounted for 4 TDs, broke the all-time rushing record for a QB in a bowl game, and pulled off the biggest upset of the Christmas season by becoming even more popular than that overrated reindeer named Dasher. Take a lesson from Dwight Dasher, reindeer – Get off Santa's balls and make something of yourself.

Kansas City Chiefs -1.5 (Loss) Speaking of games that make you want to headbutt your TV, how about them Browns? Every time the stats from this Browns/Chiefs game are typed out, an angel is murdered, so we're just going to link the boxscore to you and spare heaven another homicide – CHECK THIS BOXSCORE When our alarm went off for work on Monday morning, we were actually relieved. After the 4 o'clock games, we stumbled upon TBS's 9 millionth airing of Groundhog Day and became convinced that Sunday would become our Groundhog Day. (This happens to us every time we watch Groundhog Day.) If we had been forced to watch one more Chiefs defender fall on his ass after another Josh Cribbs juke, we would have had to drive to Pennsylvania and drown Punxsutawney Phil in a bath tub. 

 Green Bay Packers +2 (Win) You know you're a gambler when…the 2 point conversion for a team up 4 with a minute to play is the most important play of the game. To most people watching, the fate of the two point conversion was irrelevant. If the Packers lead by 4 and the Steelers score a TD, the Steelers win. If the Packers lead by 6 and the Steelers score a TD, they'd kick the extra point and win too. But, to us gamblers, that two point conversion was the difference between a big fat winner and a stinking loser. If the Packers had just kicked an extra point, a Steelers touchdown would have meant a two point win, and we'd be kissing our sister with a push. If the Packers hadn't completed the conversion, the Steelers touchdown drive would have probably caused us to consume every drop of alcohol in our vicinity, including every drop of mouthwash and nail polish remover. But, luckily for us gamblers, the Packers did convert. And while every boring football fan in America watched the final drive with nervous fear, we could sit back, enjoy a great football game, and count our winnings. Life is good for us gamblers.